The Apothecary
by grenouille7777
Summary: JKR gave us a snapshot of their lives long after the Final Battle. But what was it like two years later after all of the kids have finally entered Hogwarts? All fun and happiness? Maybe... maybe not. Starts off fully canon-compliant.
1. Chapter 1

The Apothecary

by

grenouille

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything that you recognise. It's almost all Jo's, except for the silly little plot that wormed it's way out of my head.

**A/N:** I never thought I'd ever write something canon-compliant, but I did. The Epilogue-That-Should-Never-Have-Been-Written gave us a glimpse of their future, one that many of us objected to (read: made us want to regurgitate every meal that we'd ever eaten). I wondered what it would take to repair the damage. Vern, of course, put his two Knuts in, then managed to slip the most twisted, demented and warped 'roo I've ever encountered past my anti-Portkey wards (note to self: quit buying those cheap ward stones off the Internet). I take no responsibility for ruined keyboards, mice, or monitors that result from reading this story. Oh, you may want to check your bleach supply, too…

As always, much thanks to Vern (aka Herman Tumbleweed) for all his contributions to both the story and the editing of this mess. Don't forget to read his work, too, if you haven't already.

Chapter One

_**Twenty-one years and one day later -**_

A soft pop of Apparition preceded the arrival of a man with messy, raven-coloured hair in the middle of Hogsmeade's High Street. After reorienting himself, he briskly walked to the Apothecary and quietly entered the small shop while pulling a long list from his pocket. He wandered through the store, collecting the various ingredients he needed, hoping to Merlin that his Potions skills were up to the task.

"Harry? What are you doing here?" A soft, feminine voice caught his attention, followed immediately by a bone-crushing hug that caused him to scatter the multitude of items that he'd already collected.

Startled, Harry Potter began to pull back until he recognized the bushy mane of chocolate-coloured curls in his face. "Her-Hermione?" he began uneasily, as he turned his head to get her hair out of his mouth.

Hermione Weasley pulled back from her old friend with a chuckle. "So, what are you doing here? I thought you and Ginny would be enjoying the peace and quiet with all the kids finally at Hogwarts."

"Yeah, right," Harry muttered to himself as he bent over to quickly pick up the mess of scattered materials. The bushy-haired witch frowned at the lack of response as she bent down to help him. Her frown became even more pronounced as she mentally catalogued the different substances he was buying. As they regained their feet, she tried to put it together, but just as she was about make that final connection, he finally answered her original question.

"I, erm, I'm buying some potions ingredients… you know, thought that I should finally learn how to make potions." He nervously gave her his infamous lop-sided grin. "I figure I can probably do it now without Snape hanging all over me..." Something about his demeanour wasn't right. It was almost as if they were at Hogwarts and he was furtively trying to convince her he'd actually studied for a change.

Then that last connection came to life. "Harry," she began in outrage, "you're making a l…"

Looking around quickly, the dark-haired Auror slapped his hand over the irate witch's mouth, nearly getting bitten in the process. "Shh! Not here," he whispered harshly in resignation, knowing that his much more intelligent friend already knew what he was going to make.

"No way, Harry James Potter; right here, right now!" The look on her face was one he recognized from all the way back to First Year – the one that said that the she wasn't going to take any of his shit.

It was a look that served her well as she became the most successful prosecuting barrister in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement.

"Fine." He snapped petulantly. Placing his pile of odd and disgusting substances on a convenient shelf, he grabbed Hermione's arm and dragged her to an isolated corner of the dusty little shop and put up powerful silencing and notice-me-not charms. Scratching the back of his head, he barked, "So talk."

Taken aback by his sudden change in attitude, Hermione decided to soften her approach. "Harry, I'm sorry for going off like that, but I noticed that you had Fairy Tears. They're only used in love and lust potions. Add that to the unicorn hair and…" She faltered for a moment. "Harry, what's wrong? Why would you need to brew a lust potion?"

Seeing the loving concern in her face, Harry's anger bled away and he slumped against the wall. His emerald eyes faded as he softly admitted, "It's for Ginny."

"Ginny? Why would she need a lust potion? Has something happened to you?"

He sighed. "No, not me. I'm going to give it to her." He looked into her deep brown eyes and tried to explain now that he'd gotten the hard part off his chest. "I don't know what's wrong." He shook his head dejectedly. "I don't know if I'm doing something wrong, or if it's just her, but I really don't think that it's right that I should have to give my own wife a lust potion to get some attention."

Harry's explanation confused her even more. "I don't understand, Harry. I thought you two were happy."

"Yeah, well… ever since our first anniversary, sex has been getting less and less frequent – and even less and less enjoyable." He shrugged, staring off into space. "Even then, it wasn't anything exceptional – just plain sex." He shot her a shy glance. "Nothing like in the tent."

Hermione blushed brightly and looked away at the reminder of the months that Ron had abandoned them in favour of a warm bed and hot meals. "Well, yes… anyway, Ginny has always bragged about her love life. Are you saying that she's been lying?"

Harry shrugged. "Maybe it's been okay for her, maybe she's getting it elsewhere; I dunno. All that I do know is that we haven't done it in over _two __years!_" The last bit was in a sort of whispered yell.

It was also was the end of Harry's restraint on the subject. "Two fucking years! I figured that, with the kids gone, we could finally have some time to ourselves. I even quit the Aurors this summer so we could have the time alone. What did she do? She got a fucking job with Witch Weekly! It's not like we've ever needed the money! I only joined the Aurors because it seemed to be the right thing to do."

Hermione just stood there in astonishment, hands covering her mouth, having never seen her friend so upset that he was huffing and puffing like the Hogwarts Express pulling out of the station.

That was just the beginning as Harry began to pace in the limited space of his charms, waving his hands wildly. "No, Harry," the distraught wizard's voice mocking his wife's, "we can't do it now, we'll wake the baby. No, Harry, the kids might hear us. Or even worse: I'm too tired, Harry. I have a headache, Harry. You have that late stake-out tonight, Harry." He stopped suddenly and tried to regain some semblance of control over his emotions.

After a few moments, only slightly calmer, he went on, "And even when we do, it takes forever to convince her. We end up going up to the bedroom where she strips off and just lays on the bed with her legs open. All she'll let me do is finger her a bit and stick it in – getting mad if it takes more than five minutes to finish!" His anger finally ended and he seemed to collapse into himself as he turned to his friend and locked his watery eyes with hers. "Is it really so much to ask," he breathed, "to have sex with my wife and take a long time doing it? To kiss her and touch her and taste her and have her kiss and touch and taste me back? To make love rather than just fuck?"

Flabbergasted, Hermione did the only thing she could and took her best friend into her arms as he soundlessly wept. She was stunned as she recalled the girl-talk that she and the red-headed witch had shared regarding Ginny's happy and active sex-life – a sex-life that the brunette now wondered about. She remembered being jealous over the attention that Ginny had claimed to receive and the things that younger witch had done – things her own Weasley seemed to have no intention of ever doing with his wife.

The brunette felt Harry calm down at last and briefly hold her even more tightly in gratitude. The feel of him pressing against her combined with his words caused her to feel… something - a tingle that she hadn't felt in quite a long time.

And pressing against her was something else that had also not been felt in a long time. Something that felt good. _Very_ good, in fact.

"Thank you, Hermione," Harry breathed in her ear. "I'm sorry to go off like that. I know Ginny's your friend and…"

Hermione pulled back just enough to delicately cover his mouth with her soft hand. "It's okay, Harry. You had to get it out."

"No, it's not okay. Some things just… just… well, aren't right to talk about. Especially with another woman."

She gave him an exasperated look as they separated a bit more. "And just who were you supposed to talk to about this to? Neville? Dean? Maybe Seamus, he _is_ a bartender, after all. Oh, I know; _Ron_?" She looked down at her feet. "Besides," came a faint murmur, "he isn't much better."

"What!"

It was Hermione's turn to sigh deeply as she took her turn in bearing her soul. "Well, it's pretty much how you described things with Ginny, but reversed. It happened quite a bit for the first year or so, then tapered off pretty quickly." She frowned. "Actually, _everything_ went pretty quickly. Anyway, he expects me to behave just as Ginny does. He wants me to just lay there while he runs a marathon in and out of me." Tears started to flow as she continued quietly, "The only time I even get off is if I've had plenty of time to get myself started ahead of him." Harry drew her into his arms to comfort her as she concluded, "And I can count the times that's happened on one hand… with fingers left over."

Harry stroked her soft hair as she took her turn in sobbing on her best friend's shoulder. He had truly missed the feeling of holding a woman in his arms. A tingle swept through him, causing a reaction that he almost didn't recognize. When he did, he tried to pull back just a bit – to avoid embarrassment - but Hermione decided, at that point, to draw him closer.

"I-I'm sorry, Hermione, I…"

"Shh, Harry," she reassured him through her tears. "It's nice to know that somebody still reacts that way around me." A tiny smile appeared on her saddened features.

Confused, Harry leaned his head back to look at her face and asked, "Why should that surprise you?"

"Ron…" she sniffled as she tried to prevent her tears from starting to flow again, "Ron says that I've gotten too fat and that's why he doesn't want to do it so much anymore."

Harry held her at arm's length and looked her over thoroughly, particularly noting her markedly larger breasts and full, yet still firm, backside. "Ron's a bloody idiot," he declared in disgust.

Hermione put her hands on her hips, rolling her eyes. "Be realistic, Harry. I'm not twenty anymore. I've had two children since then; of course I've gained weight."

Harry shook his head, muttering, "Yeah, in all the right places." Looking seriously into her warm expressive eyes, he told her plainly, "Any guy would be glad to have you. If anything, you're even more beautiful now than you were then."

Hermione nearly swooned at the open sincerity in the wizard's green eyes – a sincerity which restarted the wonderful tingling that had evaporated while admitting to her own less-than-satisfactory love life. She roughly drew him into another embrace and held him tightly, wanting to feel that tingle as long as she could.

Harry heard Hermione muttering something to herself. "What was that?" he gently pressed.

"Just," she hesitated for a long moment, "just that everything you said you wanted to do with Ginny is what I wish Ron and I could do." She looked into his eyes, hers watery with tears. "Is that really so wrong?"

Harry shrugged. "I don't think so. Maybe it's just another one of those Pureblood things we missed out on." He chuckled and asked cheekily, "You've studied Wizarding Law, is there some law against having good sex?"

His friend stepped back and playfully slapped his chest. "Be nice, Harry. Although… they are way behind the Muggles socially. Maybe there's some truth in that. Of course, in the Muggle world, we could just divorce them over it."

The ex-Auror snorted. "Yeah… well, that's not an option, is it? Kinda hard to break something that's magically binding. We're stuck with them – even if we caught them having an affair."

Hermione felt that tingle again as she bit her lower lip in concentration. "Harry, did Ginny say when she'd be home tonight?"

"No, just that she'd be late and not to hold dinner. Why?"

"Ron said the same thing. Something about helping George to get the new shop stocked and ready for the first Hogsmeade weekend." She thought some more. "Is Grimmauld Place still empty?"

"Yeah," Harry drew the word out slowly, becoming wary of his friend's strange questions. "It's clean and still furnished like it was before we moved into the manor years ago. I don't really care about it, but the elves insist on keeping it up. Why?"

Seeming to make a decision, Hermione took his hand and started to lead him from the shop, her sharp eyes quickly searching the area around the entrance, finding it empty of other shoppers. "Let's go, then. I think it would be better if we continued this discussion somewhere… more private."

Oblivious as ever, Harry started to head back inside. "Okay, just let me get that stuff…"

Hermione pulled him to a stop and locked her gaze on his, her deep brown eyes twinkling with mischief. "Trust me, Harry; you won't need a lust potion…"

As he realized what she was suggesting, he drew her to his side and Apparated them both away.

-O-

_**The following December –**_

The Potters and the Weasleys arrived at King's Cross Station together to pick up their children for the Christmas Holidays. Ginny held Ron back as Harry and Hermione went through the hidden barrier, not noticing the secret soft smiles the Muggle-raised pair were throwing each other.

When they'd finally disappeared, Ginny drew her brother in a full-body hug, hands grabbing his arse.

"What's wrong, Gin?"

"Nothing, now. I'm just glad that Harry's finally stopped pestering me about sex. I was really worried when I found that copy of Moste Potente Potions left out in the library a couple of months ago."

Ron nodded in agreement as he gave Ginny a soft kiss while grazing his hand across the side of one breast. "Hermione's finally gotten a clue, too. I thought she'd never give up. I even tried complaining about how bushy she was – you know, down there - but do you know what she did? _She __shaved __it__ off!_" He shuddered at the memory. "It was the most disgusting thing I'd ever seen."

Ginny grimaced at the thought. "Yech, must be some weird Muggle thing. I'm just glad that _we_ have more time together now." She looked up at him with undisguised lust in her eyes.

"Yeah. Do you think we'll be able to have some time together during the holidays?" Ron asked as he ground himself against her.

Enjoying the sensations, Ginny paused to think about it for a moment. "Probably not much. Maybe when we go to the Burrow for Christmas, we can send them home early with the kids. Say that we're helping mum clear up or something."

"Sounds good," he replied, adding a soul-searing kiss before taking her hand and leading her through the barrier before Harry and Hermione missed them.

-O-

"I wonder what's taking them so long?" Hermione commented to her best friend as they waited for the train to arrive with their children.

"Don't know, don't care," he replied while fondly sneaking a glance down her loose-fitting blouse. "The less time I spend with them means that much more time I can spend with you."

"Perv," she mischievously chided him while _accidentally_ brushing a hand below his belt.

"Says the girl who insisted that we shave each other in the shower last week." Harry resisted the urge to scratch himself as he added, "Of course, you could have warned me that it would itch like hell while it grew back."

"Well, I guess I'll just have to _scratch_ it for you, won't I?" Hermione replied in a tone of voice that dropped Harry's IQ a hundred points and raised his blood pressure that same hundred points. In one specific area, anyway.

He moaned at her words. "You're an evil witch, ya know that? Wait until I can get you alone again; you'll pay." She responded with an angelic smile.

"Express here yet?" came Ginny's whingey voice from behind them.

"Just coming in now," Hermione answered. She looked back at her husband. "What took so long?"

Ron glanced at his sister, then replied, "A bunch of Muggles came by. Had'ta wait for them to leave."

Knowing a lie when he heard one due to his background as an Auror, Harry shot Hermione a furtive, yet confused, look behind the siblings' backs. "Bummer, mate. Guess that happens sometimes. Oh, there's the train."

As the Hogwarts Express pulled up to the platform, the couples paired off to retrieve their children. Harry and Hermione knew that this holiday would be the longest ever, but were reassured that once the kids were back at school, they'd have their time together again. And maybe – just maybe – they'd figure out a way to end their sham marriages.

-O-

_**Sometime in mid-February –**_

Harry appeared in the entrance hall of Potter Manor with a soft pop. Over the months since he and Hermione had started their arrangement, they had come to realize that while the sex was wonderfully mind-blowing, the simple companionship that they shared far outweighed even that. More than ever, they both wished that there was a way to divorce their respective spouses, but they still hadn't found a single legal or magical loophole that they could use to accomplish that goal. Nevertheless, they felt that they were still better off than they'd been the previous summer.

Handing his cloak to Winky the house-elf, the contented wizard headed up the stairs to take a shower before Ginny got home. He felt that he had plenty of time as she'd been working later and later as time passed, which sometimes left him wondering what could be keeping her so busy at Witch Weekly. Not that he really cared anymore.

In the shower, while scrubbing off the evidence of Hermione's goodbye, sticky and messy as it was, he realized that Ron had been spending more time at work as well. Dismissing it as a convenient coincidence, and further evidence of the insanity of Wizarding marriage, he shut off the water and wrapped a towel lightly around his waist before going to his bedroom to get dressed.

"Hey, handsome."

Harry froze at the high-pitched voice of his wife. He turned to find her reclined on their large bed, clad in naught but a long, loose nightgown. "Hey, Gin," he replied hesitantly. "What are you doing home so early?"

She shrugged in what was probably supposed to be a saucy manner, causing the front of the nightgown to drop lower, exposing quite a bit more of her chest than he usually saw. "Maybe I just missed you." She patted the bed next to her as her voice dropped an octave in an attempt to sound sultry, "Why don't you join me?"

Her husband approached cautiously and sat at the end of the bed near her feet. Perplexed, and more than a little alarmed, he could only form one response, "Why?"

A momentary look of exasperation crossed her face, but vanished quickly as she scooted herself alongside him with her legs folded to the side. Trailing a finger up and down his arm, she assumed a mock pout as she continued in that same not-quite-sexy voice, "Do I really need a reason to spend time with my husband? I mean, it's been a while since we've… well, you know… b-been together."

"Three years," Harry stated quietly, yet bluntly, as he pulled away from her ministrations.

"What's been three years?" She moved closer, leaning forward enough to display her small breasts while rubbing a hand across his chest.

Standing up, trying to control the revulsion he felt from her touch, he replied emotionlessly, "It's been nearly three years since we've done anything other than sleep in this bed. It's been much, much longer since you even wanted to." His voice started to rise as, despite his best efforts, his emotions crept back in. "What I'm asking is why? Why, all of sudden, do you want to do this?"

"B-but, H-harry… I'm your wife…"

He held up a hand, cutting her off. "No, Ginny," the ex-Auror stated with a hard edge to his voice, "I can't do this. I've finally accepted the fact that sex has never truly been a part of this marriage and never will be." His voice softened slightly. "I can't do it, Gin. I won't let you get my hopes up just to get let down again." Harry turned and, dropping his towel and baring his all, walked to the wardrobe and donned a comfortable dressing gown. "I'm going down to the kitchen for some dinner, then I'm going to bed in one of the guest rooms." As the wizard headed for the door, he gave her a last look, "For what it's worth, Gin; I'm sorry." He left the room, missing the look of panic on his wife's face.

-O-

_**The next day-**_

Even as Harry and Hermione lay together in post-coital bliss after an unusually energetic morning greeting, she knew that something was troubling her friend.

Rolling onto her side and pressing herself against him, she toyed with the sparse hairs on his chest and softly asked, "Is something wrong, Harry? You seem, I don't know… distracted."

Harry turned to face the beautiful witch, relishing the feel of her naked breasts against his bare chest. Taking a deep breath, he quietly confessed, "Well, last night was kind of disturbing. You see, when I got home, I, ah, took a shower, 'cause, well… you, know…" He gave her a shy grin to which she returned an equally shy blush. "Anyway, when I got out of the shower, Ginny was there and she… well, she tried to seduce me."

Hermione sat upright in a protective rage. "She what!"

Harry rolled back onto his back, putting his hands behind his head and smiled. "Yeah. It was curiously satisfying to turn her down." Reaching up, he pulled the irate witch on top of him and gently stroked her back while recounting the events of the previous evening.

By the end of Harry's story, the now purring brunette was finally ready to consider Ginny's actions rationally. She pushed herself up and straddled him. "I wonder what's brought this on?"

"I dunno, love," Harry replied absently, distracted by her exposed chest. "It doesn't really matter, though…"

"It does matter, Harry, she's still your wife!" Hermione's basic insecurities, bolstered by Ron's neglectful treatment of her over the years, resurged with a vengeance. Tears started to form as she started to move off of him. "In-in fact, if… if you want to-to go back to her…"

Harry roughly grabbed her hips and drew her firmly back to him, coincidentally grinding himself firmly against her centre. "Don't you ever for one bloody second think that, Hermione!" he growled possessively. "If I wanted her, I would have had her last night." Hermione's tear-filled eyes shone with happiness as her lover continued tenderly, "But I didn't. I couldn't even bear to have her anywhere near me, let alone touch me. This," he took both of her hands in his and placed one of them against his chest, "and this," he moved her other hand to their pressed together genitalia, "are yours. I'd like to think that this," he released the hand holding the one on his chest and placed it between her breasts, "and this," while gently moving their still joined hands, "are mine." Harry sat up and kissed her gently.

"Oh, Harry," she sobbed joyfully, throwing herself down against him, "They are… they are."

"The only thing this changes is that I'm even more determined to find a way out of this mess," the wizard asserted. "I really hate that we have to leave each other at night. I really hate that we have to hide our love."

Hermione's head shot up. "Love? Do you really mean that?"

Harry nodded slowly and emphatically.

The ecstatic witch scooted her body up his, then forcefully back, taking him roughly inside herself. Her whispered, "I love you, too," was the last coherent words from either of them for quite some time.

-O-

"He what?" Ron's voice echoed through the new Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes shop in Hogsmeade.

"He-he turned me down!" Ginny cried as she threw herself into her brother's arms.

"How could he do that?" Ron wondered out loud as he comforted the distraught witch. "Guys are always throwing themselves at you. Hell, he was, too, until a while ago."

"I don't know, Ron," she sniffled. "What are we going to do? Things are going to become obvious pretty soon." The tiny woman wiped her tears away briskly and looked up at Ron's face despairingly. "What's wrong with me, Ron? Am I getting old and ugly? Aren't I good enough, anymore? He didn't even seem to react."

The tall red-head held her tightly as he allowed his hands to roam everywhere on her petite body. "No, you're as dead sexy as ever, Gin." His hands unfastened his sister's robes and drew them off her shoulders, dropping them to the floor as he followed up with a deep kiss while reaching for her knickers. "Let me show you before you head for work."

-O-

_**Three weeks later—**_

Hermione was sitting at a large worktable in the library at Grimmauld Place, working on a case involving a recently captured idiot who fancied himself a new dark lord. As he was a cousin of the Malfoys, she was determined to get the maximum stay in Azkaban for him.

As a fresh cup of tea materialized in front of her, she felt a strong pair of arms envelop her from behind, followed by warm lips nuzzling the back of her neck. A quill fell to the table top as she reached back to grab her lover's head and succumbed to the sensations.

"Long day?"

"Mmm hmm." The former Gryffindor melted from his tender treatment. "Yeah. You?"

"Nah. Just busy trying to avoid Ginny." Harry stepped around and, moving another chair close to his love's, sat next to her and, pulling the witch onto his lap, gave her throat some attention as well.

"She's still at it, then?"

He stopped and rested his forehead against hers. "Every bloody night. I don't know what's gotten into her. She was completely starkers last night – not a pretty sight."

"Oh, come on, Harry, she's not that bad."

"Well, no, maybe not… but she's got nothing on you."

"Now you're just sucking up." Hermione rubbed her nose against his. "You don't have to say those things; you've already got me."

"No, really. Actually, I've always thought you were more attractive than Gin. I'm sure Ron would agree." He added with a cheeky grin.

"Ew, I should hope so. That would be just too… ew! Although…"

"What?"

"Well, as disgusting as it may sound, that would give us the out we've been looking for."

Harry pulled back and stared at her in confusion. "What would?"

"Well, you know that there are very few laws regarding marriages, right? And none allowing divorce? And that there aren't even any laws against adultery."

Harry snorted. "Yeah, pretty much anybody can shag anybody they want to as long as they're of age."

"Well, close, but not quite. It seems that it was left that way so that the Pureblood Heads of House could get away with having as many mistresses as they wanted. They just didn't bother to pass any gender-specific laws to keep their wives honest. They probably just figured their wives would just automatically be loyal to their Lord and Master." Sarcasm simply oozed from her voice.

"Figures. So how does this help us?"

"There are two exceptions. Parents can't sleep with their own children under any circumstances…"

"I should hope the hell not!"

"… and siblings can't, either. Unless, of course, they're married to each other first."

"Ick…" He turned slightly green at the thought. "You know, that really makes no sense. Brothers and sisters have to get married to shag, but any other relatives don't? I mean, inbreeding's inbreeding… isn't it?"

"Maybe they want _controlled_ inbreeding?" Hermione shrugged her shoulders in seeming acceptance. "Harry, have you ever seen a Pureblood law that made sense?"

"I guess you're right," he sighed. "So… you're saying that if we can get Ron and Ginny to shag each other…"

"… knowingly…"

"… okay, knowingly shag each other, we're free of them?"

"Yes."

"Never work, even if Ron were attracted to his sister that way."

"Why not?"

"Remember how he thought you were getting too big?"

"Don't remind me. I still worry about it," Hermione grumped.

"Well, quit worrying. I still say that if we were to go to Hogwarts right now, all the boys would be drooling at the MILF wandering through the halls."

"Sure, Harry." Her sarcasm had returned with a vengeance.

"Anyway, like I was saying, Ron wouldn't do it, anyway, 'cause Ginny's been developing a bit of a belly lately and if he didn't want to touch a hottie like you, then he'll never go anywhere near Ginny."

"Damn. Guess we're still stuck." She slumped forlornly against him. "Oh, and I'm not a 'hottie'."

"Sure you are." He lifted her in his arms as he stood and carried her to a nearby sofa. "Let me prove it to you…"

-O-


	2. Chapter 2

The Apothecary

by

grenouille

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything that you recognise. It's almost all Jo's, except for the silly little plot that wormed it's way out of my head.

**A/N:** As always, much thanks to Vern (aka Herman Tumbleweed) for all his contributions to both the story and the editing of this mess. Don't forget to read his work, too, if you haven't already.

Chapter Two

_**That night—**_

"Hey, Herms."

Hermione shuddered in annoyance at not only the increasingly grating sound of her husband's loud voice, but at his continued use of that awful name. Taking a deep breath, she blandly responded to the annoying git's greeting, "Hello, Ron. You're home early." The barrister turned back to the notes she was making for the case against the Malfoy cousin – notes that had been pleasurably interrupted by Harry's positive reinforcement of her MILF status that afternoon.

Ron stepped around and sat on the edge of the table his wife was working at, rumpling many of the parchments in the process. "So," he began, "what have you been doing? I haven't seen you much lately."

Sighing, Hermione set down her quill and regarded the bothersome red-head. "Just working, as usual. You'd see me more if you'd ever get home at a decent hour."

"Yeah… well... George is keepin' me busy, ya know, with the new shop and all. And Percy's just bloody nuts about everything being _just __so_…" he trailed off uncomfortably. "Anyway," he gestured to the now messy pile of papers, "what's all this?"

Trying to suppress her irritation, she answered calmly, "Remember that last case Harry was working on before he retired?"

"Yeah, that arse that thought he was You-Know-You rein… reincarbonated… no, erm, brought back from the dead or something. What about it?"

"Reincarnated. Anyway, Harry was right; it was one of Malfoy's cousins. The Aurors caught him recently and this," she waved her hand across the table, "is my case against him."

"Wicked! You're really going after Malfoy? About bloody time!" Ron's face lit up with glee at the thought of their childhood nemesis finally getting what he deserved.

"No, not Draco; his cousin. Although Draco has been throwing plenty of galleons around the Ministry trying to get him freed." Hermione's face took on a look that truly terrified her husband. "I'm not going to let that happen."

"Good, good. Wait, you said Harry. Does that mean you've seen him lately?"

The brunette caught herself before answering carefully, "Yes, of course I have. He's the one who started the investigation. Why?"

"Well… Ginny came by the shop the other day all upset and said that he's been… I dunno… acting weird. Like he doesn't want anything to do with her anymore. Did he say anything to you about it?"

Turning back to her work, although her heart was racing nervously, Hermione commented nonchalantly, "No, not a thing. Anyway, Ron, I really need to get this done."

"Okay." Swallowing hard, Ron screwed up his courage and reached out and brushed his hand against his wife's bushy hair. "I… I'm gonna head up to bed. Um, why… um, why don't you put that up and j-join me?"

Hermione's head snapped around to confront him. "What?"

"Well… you know… I just thought… maybe you'd like to… to… you know…"

Hermione hid her surprise by pinching the bridge of her nose and shaking her head. "No, Ron. Just go to bed. I'm going to be up late working on this."

"But, Herms… I thought… it's been a while and you might like…"

"_No_, Ron. Don't worry about me; I've gotten used to it," she snapped, returning to her notes and ignoring him. "Besides," she threw out as he trudged out of the room, "it's not very tempting when somebody insists on calling you something they've been telling you for nearly thirty years that they hate."

The puzzled shop manager wandered off to bed, wondering what the hell was happening in his happy little world.

-O-

_**The next day—**_

"He what?" Harry exclaimed. "Are you sure I can't just demand an Honour Duel to solve this?"

Hermione chuckled at his righteous indignation. "No, Harry. There are no grounds for it. Besides, duels to the death were outlawed over a hundred years ago."

"Damn." The retired Auror pouted like a three-year-old.

"In any case, just remember that these," she reached for his hands and placed them on her body where he had placed his own three weeks before, "are yours and these," she moved her hands to the matching locations on his body, "are mine. And I don't share." She gave him a deep kiss which resulted in clothes flying everywhere.

-O-

"She said that she doesn't know what's going on with Harry. I… I even offered to… you know, with her, but she just kept on working." Ron threw his hands up in confusion. "What the hell's going on? They're finally giving us what we've always wanted, but why now?"

"I dunno, Ron. If they only would have waited another few months, it would have been perfect." She thought hard for a moment before her face lit up. "Ron… I have an idea…"

-O-

_**Two weeks later—**_

Ginny turned the fire under the cauldron off and let the potion slowly cool. As much as she detested being up so early, the timing had to be just right for this potion to come out the way it should.

A gurgling sensation rose in her stomach and she immediately raced to the loo, thinking about just how much she really hated mornings.

-O-

Harry tarried over his late lunch, feeling rather despondent. Hermione had been scheduled to prosecute several cases before the Wizengamot this morning, so he wouldn't have any time at all with her today. Fortunately, her work as a barrister for the DMLE allowed her to work from home much of the time, or as she usually did these days, from the Black Library at Number Twelve.

A pop of elven Apparition alerted him to the presence of Piddle, Winky's youngest elfling. "Master Harry," the newly-old-enough-to-be-working house-elf interrupted his musing. "I is being sorry to interrupt, but you was asking to be told if Mistress be doing anything unusual."

Turning his attention to the tiny female house-elf, Harry smiled as he replied, "Yes, Piddle, I did. What's going on?"

"Well, Master, she is being in the potion-making room a lot, lately. Also she is being very sick every morning and is always running to the loo." Piddle hesitated and reached for her ears, as she struggled to continue with what she had to say. "I is being sorry for saying, Master, but I don't think Mistress is being happy since Master has been staying away from her."

Harry slid from his seat and knelt in front of the elf. "It's okay, Piddle. Please, never feel like you have to apologise for speaking the truth, okay?" The young elf nodded excitedly, glad that her master was pleased.

"Now, how has Ginny been sick? Is that why she's been making potions?" Something about Ginny and potions just didn't sit right with his Auror instincts.

"Mistress throws up two, three times every morning, Master. She is keeping elves very happy with the big messes she makes as she doesn't always get all the way to the loo in time. I don't know what potions she makes, but she uses the big, old book that Master tells us not to touch."

Harry's eyes grew wide in alarm. Calming himself quickly so he didn't frighten the happy elf, he said to her, "Thank you, Piddle. You've done very well, but tell _no__ one_ of our talk today; _especially_ the Mistress, okay?"

Piddle's big eyes lit up with joy at pleasing her kind master. "Yes, Master Harry. Piddle tells nobody."

"Thanks, Piddle. Go on back to whatever you were doing."

The elf popped away as Harry retook his seat, deep in contemplation. Suddenly, a horrifying thought came to mind and he raced to the Potions Lab in the basement to find Moste Potente Potions on the counter, opened to the same page he'd been reading the previous summer.

Shit.

Deciding carefully, he sent off a hurried messenger spell before he ran back to the Entry Hall and Apparated to Grimmauld Place.

-O-

"I need to get going, Ron," Ginny said as she looked around for her clothing, "so I can get everything ready for tonight. We can't wait much longer."

"Sure you can't wait a _little_ longer?" her lover asked as he tweaked a small pink nipple.

Moaning in pleasure, she pulled away from him. "No, I want to get this done and over with." Ginny reached into her bag and pulled out a crystal vial filled with a clear potion which she handed it to her brother. "Here, I made plenty. Slip this to her if you're still randy." She grimaced. "If I have to suffer, then it's only fair if you share in my misery. Besides," she added with a smug grin, "maybe you can finally put that Mudblood in her place."

A wide grin crossed his features as he thought of what depravities he could have his wife perform.

-O-

Harry was pacing impatiently when he heard Hermione's faint crack of arrival. Running and grabbing her in a bone-breaking embrace, he said in obvious relief, "I am so glad you got my message."

"What was that all about, Harry? Your message arrived just as I was leaving the Wizengamot Chambers." Her fear turned to loving annoyance as he told her briefly of his discussion with Piddle and the subsequent discovery in the Potions Lab.

"Harry, I have nothing to worry about. Ron thinks I'm too fat, remember?" The bushy-haired witch kept speaking in order to prevent his inevitable objections. "You, on the other hand, are probably going to have it slipped to you quite soon." Her brows furrowed cutely in concern. "I just wish we knew why."

"Well, I've decided that I'm just staying here. I'm not going to subject myself to her games. I'd like you to stay here, too."

"No, Harry, we can't do that," Hermione sighed in resignation. "We have to keep up appearances until we can find a way out of this mess."

"Shit. I don't want to be with her, Hermione. I guess I could just… I dunno… do a detection charm on everything I eat."

"No, that would be too obvious… but…" Gryffindor's one-time resident genius trailed off as her mind considered another possibility.

"But…" Harry prodded, knowing that his love's brilliant mind was on the verge of something good.

"Do you remember that enchantment I was working on for my Charms NEWT project?"

"The one that made a potions detector? Yeah, but you said it didn't work."

"It worked, but it had to be renewed every twelve hours. That's why I said it didn't work since I wanted it to be at least a semi-permanent enchantment." She thought some more before locking gazes with the ex-Auror in her arms. "But… that should be long enough for tonight."

-O-

Ginny puttered around the dining room, putting the finishing touches on the intimate dinner she'd made for herself and Harry. _"__Merlin,__ I __hope __this__ works,__"_ she thought anxiously. _"__I__ really __don__'__t__ want__ to__ touch __him__ like __this,__ but __it__'__s __the__ only __way__…" _Hearing his pop of Apparition, she hurried off to meet him before her husband could disappear upstairs as he usually did when he got back from whatever he did during the day.

That gave the scheming witch pause as she wondered just what he _was_ getting up to. At first, she had considered the notion that he might have found another woman, but dismissed it almost immediately. It simply wasn't in his nature to fool around with another woman like that. Besides, Harry wasn't subtle enough to get anything past her. She remembered how badly the Sorting Hat had wanted to put her in Slytherin – and for good reason.

When Ginny finally spotted him, she straightened the casual and flattering robes she was wearing and warmly greeted her husband. "Harry, I'm so glad you're home. I have dinner ready for you – all of your favourites."

Sighing in resignation, Harry followed her to the dining room and saw the steak-and-kidney pie and treacle tart gracing the table. He turned to the red-head and asked, "Why, Ginny? Why are you doing this all of a sudden?"

Ginny assumed the submissive posture of a scolded young schoolgirl, with her head lowered and her hands clasped together in front of her. "Well… I guess I've finally realized that I haven't been a very good wife to you all these years." She looked up innocently. "I'd like to make it up to you."

Harry just shook his head, thinking that it was far too little, and way too late. "Let's just have dinner, alright?"

She nodded eagerly as he took his regular place at the head of the table and, instead of taking her regular place across from him, she sat to his right, uncomfortably close.

As he reached for his fork, Hermione's charm on his Head of House ring caused it to vibrate, signalling the presence of a potion. Putting it back down, he made a show of looking around the table before asking, "Gin, do we have any wine left, by chance?"

A wide smile graced her face as she replied, "Of course, Harry. I'll be right back with it."

As soon as she left, Harry quickly performed a detection charm on the entire contents of the table. Everything at his place was liberally dosed with the same lust potion he'd planned on using the previous autumn. Thinking quickly, he completed a hurried switching charm just as Ginny returned.

"Here you go, honey," his wife said sweetly as she placed a glass of fine, red wine in front of each of their places, being sure to brush a breast against Harry's shoulder.

"Thanks, Gin."

She smiled again while taking her seat, watching him carefully as he grabbed the wine and sniffed at it to check the bouquet.

Harry's ring didn't vibrate, so he took a sip before setting the glass back down and started to eat. Glancing at her with a slight smile, he praised her cooking, "Everything's great, Gin."

Satisfied, she began to eat.

-O-

Hermione threw herself on the sofa as soon as she got home, totally exhausted from her long, stressful day. A day that she wished would end in Harry's arms. Between spending the whole day dealing with the institutionalized stupidity known as the Wizengamot and Harry's revelations that afternoon, the brunette really wanted to sit in a hot bubble bath with a bottle of wine, some soft music and, most of all, a hard Harry. She leaned her head back and relaxed, daydreaming of what she would do to him when she saw him tomorrow.

That frustratingly grating voice interrupted her musings, "Hi, sweetie. Rough day?"

"Yeah," she groaned, more from his invading her happy place than the day itself. "The Wizengamot's full of idiots and inbred morons." She opened her eyes to see a cup of tea being thrust at her. The youngest Weasley wife stared at her husband curiously.

"Thought you'd need it today. Oh, and mum sent over some left-overs, so we don't have to cook for ourselves tonight."

Hermione chuckled as she accepted the tea from Ron. Even after all these years, Molly still had never been able to adjust to the fact that she wasn't cooking for an army anymore and was always sending food over. Hermione took a deep drink of the tea as Ron stepped behind her and began to massage her shoulders. Hermione relaxed into the sensations as a warmth towards her husband started to flow through her and kept growing. _"__I__ have __to__ get__ Harry __to __do __this __for__ me__ tomorrow,__"_ she thought idly.

"_Harry!__"_ popped into her mind as she shot upright, sending the tea flying and catching herself as a wave of dizziness nearly caused her to fall over, followed by a rush of desire that Ron had _never_ been able to elicit in her before. _"__Harry,__ Harry,__ Harry,__"_ she focussed on him, trying to remember… _"__Potion__… __potion__… __lust__ potion__… __Damnit,__ Harry__ was __right!__ The __bastard__ potioned__ me!__"_

The enraged witch jumped to her feet and drew her wand, all the time fighting her body's unwanted reactions to her now naked husband. "You son of a bitch!" she screamed at the top of her voice. "You motherfucking piece of inbred dog shite! How dare you slip me a potion! _Castrado!_"

Ron managed to evade that hex, but it was followed up with a barrage of other, more painful ones. He danced around the room as his wife sent wave after wave of angry magical energy at him, causing him to remember why it was a bad idea to upset the Smartest-Witch-of-Her-Age.

Hermione's uncontrollable rage was the only thing offsetting the potion flowing through her system, although its effects grew stronger with each passing moment. _"__Just__ one __good __shot__… __just __one__… __so__ I __can __get __out __of __here__… __before__ I __do __something __stupid__…"_ she thought as she fired curse after curse at the red-headed swine. Finally, the powerful potion started to reassert control. _"__I__ gotta __get __out __of __here __now,__" _Hermione realized in panic,_ "__before __I__… __but__ one __more __shot__… __just__… __one__… __more__…"_ She sent a Bludgeoning Curse to his groin as she Apparated away.

"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!" he screamed as the spell struck true.

-O-

For the first time in many years, Harry truly enjoyed his dinner with his wife. The food and the wine were excellent, of course, since Ginny _had_ inherited her mum's culinary skills, after all. But the best part was watching the flush forming across Ginny's skin and the squirming she was doing against her chair as the powerful lust potion coursed through her small body.

He finally sat back after taking the time to truly enjoy the wonderful meal – and the equally entertaining show – and let out a soft belch. "That was a truly brilliant meal, Gin. Thank you."

"Y-you're welcome, Harry," she stammered out, her eyes nearly glowing with unrestrained desire.

Chuckling quietly, the amused wizard stood from his chair and stepped away from the table. "Well, I'm off to bed. Good night, Gin, and thanks again."

"It's about bloody time," she muttered as she launched herself at him, scrabbling at his clothing and trying to rape his mouth.

"Stop it, Ginny!" he cried as he fought her off and hit her with a quick _Incarcerous_.

"Harry," she cried, "I want you! I need you… please, Harry! I'm your wife, Harry. I-I'll do anything, Harry, anything you want! Please! Take me, Harry!"

He brought his face close to hers, barely out of kissing range, and smiled evilly. "I know you will, Gin. Too bad it took your own potion to make you feel that way." At her sudden look of terror, he laughed and walked away.

"Haaaaaaarrrrrrry!"

-O-

Harry appeared at Number Twelve to immediately be assaulted by a naked, bushy-haired animal tearing at his clothes. "Hermione, what the hell..?"

"Fuck me, Harry, fuck me hard and fuck me now!" she cried before vanishing his clothes and stroking him quickly while kissing him roughly.

"Hermione, what… mmph?"

"Ron… potion… got out… before… anything… happened… Hexed… bits… Goddamnit, Harry… fuck n-now… talk later…" she forced out between kisses, breathing heavily as she fought the potion's nearly overwhelming influence so she could explain.

Harry instantly put it all together, but before he could go off and kill the arse, he had to take care of his best friend and love. He spun the lust-crazed witch around, bent her over a convenient sofa and, entering her roughly, began pounding away.

After all, when a beautiful, sexy woman asks you so nicely, it's always polite to promptly comply.

-O-

Harry woke late the next day to sensations of gentle fingers caressing his chest. "G'mornin'," he mumbled with a crooked grin on his face.

"More like good afternoon," Hermione whispered. "Harry, I…" She stopped her ministrations and buried her face in his chest, crying softly.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked, stroking his love's bushier-than-normal mane.

"I'm… I'm sorry, Harry," she sobbed, "I should have listened to you, and…"

"Shhh, don't worry about it, love." He tenderly drew her nude form up his own and gave her a soft kiss. "Everything worked out okay in the end. We're both here and safe and nothing bad happened, right?"

She gazed lovingly into his eyes. "You're right, but…"

"But nothing. Now, why don't you tell me what happened."

As an unusually distressed Hermione described the previous night, Harry's anger grew. Only her need for his comforting presence kept him from Apparating out of the house and killing his now former best mate. Hermione, recognising the signs of his rising temper, reassured him that she was unharmed and reminded him that she'd gotten her revenge in the most painful way possible.

"Speaking of pain," she added, "how are you feeling this morning?"

"Sore. I'll admit that it was fun," he added with a cheeky grin, "but I'm not sure if I want to try that again. How about you?"

"Like my legs were stretched twelve feet apart. I'm not even sure I can get to the loo." She returned his grin with a wanton leer. "You're right, though; it was fun, but I don't know if I'll be able to do anything for a couple of days." She groaned as she sat up. "Ow. No, I don't think we need to try that again anytime soon."

Harry chuckled, "How about a hot soak?"

Remembering the daydream she'd been having before Ron potioned her, she asked in a sultry voice, "With bubbles?"

"Of course, nothing but the best."

"Wine."

"Certainly."

"Soft music?"

"Naturally."

"Hard you?"

He grimaced as he sat up. "All things considered, I'll do my best," he replied wryly. "I must admit, I never thought I'd ever get friction burns down there."

Laughing pleasantly, she held him tightly. "Yes, my love, I think a hot soak would do us both a world of good. But which one of us is going to be able to get up and draw it?"

"I've got that covered." He snapped his fingers and called, "Winky."

A soft crack sounded as the old elf appeared. "Yes, Master Harry?"

"Could you draw us a hot bath, please, Winky? With lots of bubbles, soft music and a bottle of wine?"

Winky looked at Hermione for a long moment before answering, "Yes, Master Harry. Winky already thought that you and Mistress Miney would be needing that today. It will be ready when you gets there. Or will you be needing Winky's help?"

"Winky…" Harry started carefully, "what aren't you telling us? Be honest."

Winky rocked from foot to foot, tugging at her ears. "It isn't being right for a house-elf to say."

"Please, Winky. You're not just an elf, you're a member of my family, so it _is_ right to say what's on your mind."

Winky took a deep breath, then said in a rush, "Winky is being happy that Master is being with Mistress Miney. Mistress Ginny isn't good for Master like Mistress Miney is. She makes him happy, not sad like other Mistress." She looked at Hermione and continued. "Mistress has been a good person to house-elfs since she asked about our ways."

"Thank you for helping me to understand, Winky. I'm truly sorry for the way I treated you before."

Winky simply shrugged. "Mistress didn't know. Winky was being glad to help. Mistress was the only human to ever ask. Now wait while Winky draws bath, then Winky will help Master and Mistress to get there." She popped away, only to return a minute later. "Winky will pop Master and Mistress to the tub, then will have food ready in here for after." She took on a look that Harry had previously only seen on Madam Pomfrey's face as she continued, "Then Master and Mistress needs to sleep. Master and Mistress spent too much time making fun-time and need more rest." A click of elven fingers caused them to find themselves in the most magically luxurious bath water they'd ever even heard of, let alone been in.

"We need to do something special for that elf," Hermione commented as she snuggled against her wizard.

"You're right, love. I don't know what she put in the water, but I feel better already."

Running her hand down his body under the water, she replied with a smirk, "I noticed. I feel much better, too. Maybe we should test this tub out…"

-O-

Ginny woke up frustrated and painfully sore in her nether regions. She'd screamed herself hoarse for Harry until one of the house-elves finally heard her and released Harry's _Incarcerous_. When none of them could tell her where her errant husband had disappeared to, she ran up to her bedroom in a vain attempt to relieve herself.

She had attempted to use her wand to satisfy herself, but it did no good. The increasingly aroused red-head then attempted to transfigure a book into one of those disgusting Muggle toys that Hermione had showed her once during an outing to Muggle London several years ago, but her potion-addled mind wouldn't permit the concentration necessary to perform the spell correctly and she ended up with several three inch wide soggy spaghetti noodles.

Truly desperate at this point, Ginny had spied the tops of the rough-hewn oak bedposts. A cutting hex later, she was ravaging that piece of lumber as if her life depended on it. She eventually passed out exhausted and still unsatisfied hours later, bloody and raw.

Now angry – and still quite frustrated – the irate witch cast a healing charm on her mutilated bits and staggered awkwardly to the wardrobe and put on a dressing gown so she could search the house for her husband, fully intending to extract some revenge – and satisfaction – from the sonofabitch.

A furious Ginny walked unsteadily out of the master bedroom, ignoring her pain as she looked in the other bedrooms. The damage she had caused to herself was too great for a simple charm to cure, but her anger drove her on; determined to express her… displeasure.

It was at the top of the main stairs that the diminutive witch finally succumbed to her injuries. Just as she stepped onto the top step, her legs gave out. Slowly at first, then gaining speed, Ginny tumbled down the long staircase, to finally come to rest on the floor at its base, unconscious and bleeding.

-O-


	3. Chapter 3

The Apothecary

by

grenouille

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything that you recognise. It's almost all Jo's, except for the silly little plot that wormed it's way out of my head.

**A/N:** As always, much thanks to Vern (aka Herman Tumbleweed) for all his contributions to both the story and the editing of this mess. Don't forget to read his work, too, if you haven't already.

Chapter Three

Harry woke to Winky's squeaky voice and tiny hand prodding his shoulder. "Master Harry, Master Harry, you is must be waking up. Something bad is being happening."

Blinking the sleep from his eyes, Harry turned to face the frantic elf, waking Hermione in the process. "What's wrong, Winky?"

"Mistress Ginny's loud mum is being screaming in the Floo for Master. Mistress Ginny and Mister Ron is both being at St Mungo's." Winky face took on a sly look as she added, "Loud mum also is asking Winky if Winky is knowing where Mistress Miney is being, but Winky is saying nothing."

The lovers shared a guilty look, having a pretty good idea why their spouses were there, before turning back to the patiently waiting messenger.

"Thank you, Winky, you did the right thing," her Master complimented the fanatically loyal house-elf. "If Molly Floos again, tell her that you told me and that I'll try to find Hermione and bring her to St Mungo's with me, okay?"

"Yes, Master. Winky can do." She popped away.

The witch and wizard shared a sad look as Hermione commented, "Well, I guess we should get down there. I… I," she began to cry softly, "I didn't expect anything like this to happen."

"Neither did I, love," Harry admitted dejectedly as he took his partner into his arms. "Neither did I."

-O-

Harry and Hermione entered St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries together, stopping first at the Artefacts Accidents Ward where they were politely greeted by the overbearing voice of their mother-in-law at full volume, "Where have you been! We've been looking all over for you! This is fine way to treat…"

Not in the mood for Molly's usual overbearing high-handedness, Harry cut off her rant with a quick Silencing Charm. Looking over the full complement of Weasleys, he focused on his fellow Head of House, asking him in his Auror voice, "What's going on, Arthur?"

The Weasley Patriarch answered in his usual soft, caring way, "We really don't know, Harry. We got a Floo call saying that your house-elves had sent Ginny here after she fell down the stairs at home. When Molly couldn't reach you anywhere, she sent Percy to see if Ron and Hermione knew how to find you. He found Ron injured and unconscious and brought him up to the Spell Damage Ward." Glancing at his silenced wife, the balding wizard paused for a moment with an embarrassed air, "Um, Harry… where _were_ you two?"

Ignoring the question, Harry and Hermione shared a fleeting look before separating to check on their respective spouses.

-O-

Hermione went up to the fourth floor to check on her husband, feeling somewhat less guilty as she recalled what he had done to her. The little remaining guilt she felt quickly vanished as soon as she entered the room he was in.

"How dare you do this to me!" the red-head raved. He flipped the light blanket off of himself, exposing his mangled genitalia. "Look what you've done to me! You're lucky they said that they can fix it! When I get out of here…"

"How dare I? HOW DARE _I_?" Hermione's screams of rage easily overrode his rant. "_You_ were the one who drugged _me_, Ronald Bilius Weasley! You were the one who ignored me for _years_ and when you finally decided to notice me, you took all the trust we had and THREW IT IN MY FACE, you fucking bastard!"

"What the hell are you talking about? I didn't drag you anywhere! I just wanted us to have fun, ya know. It's not like you paid me any attention, either!"

"You fed me a lust potion, you unmitigated arse! If you wanted _attention_, you could have just asked. What you did was to try to RAPE ME! Your own wife!" Getting that off her chest allowed her anger to dissipate. Hermione sat at the end of the hospital bed as she sorrowfully explained, "I tried for years to get that kind of _attention_ from you, but it never did me any good. I'm still trying to figure out how we even managed to have Rosie and Hugo." She took a deep breath, "I'm sorry, Ron. I never really wanted to see you hurt, but I was so angry… I felt so betrayed…

"All you ever had to do was ask, Ron. And be willing to give some back." The silence that followed was almost tangible.

Ron softly asked, "What happened to us, Herms?"

Hermione's head snapped up. "That's part of it Ronald. You've always called me that even though I've been asking you not to since we were eleven. The rest… I don't know. I… I really don't think there ever truly was an us. We were friends, but maybe… maybe we should have just stayed that way."

"But…"

"But nothing, Ron. I love you; I really do, but this… this whatever we have… can't go on." Her eyes began to water once again. "I spoke to the Healer before I came in. He said you'll fully recover and you'll be able to go home in a couple of days.

"When you get there, I'll already be gone. I know we'll still be married – and always will be - but there is nothing that says that we have to live together. I can't do this anymore, Ron. I just can't." She got up and gave him a tender kiss before tearfully running out of the room, dodging the furious Weasley matriarch on the way.

-O-

Harry sat quietly in the room containing his, thankfully, unconscious wife, waiting for the Healer to speak with him. The nurse had described Ginny's injuries in graphic detail, but couldn't shed any light on how they had occurred.

Harry, of course, had a pretty good idea, but for the life of him couldn't see how she could have done that much damage to herself.

A soft tapping on the door was followed by Hermione peeping inside. At a gesture from Harry, she quietly entered and took the chair next to his.

"How is she?"

"Dunno, yet. Still waiting for the Healer to come and talk to me. How's Ron?"

"He'll be fine in a couple of days." She hesitated, as if at an uncharacteristic loss for words. "Um, Harry? Were… were you serious when you said you wanted me to move into Grimmauld Place?"

"Of course I was," Harry replied matter-of-factly. "Why?"

"Well," the restless witch looked away in embarrassment, "I kinda told Ron that when he went home that… that I wouldn't be there."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I… I can't deal with him anymore, Harry. When I went to check on him, the first thing he did was yell at me that it was all my fault - _for__ everything!_" Her lower lip started to tremble as she fought to control the emotions that she had refused to release in front of Ron. Even knowing it was safe to do so in front of Harry (and she really wanted to), there was no telling when another Weasley would intrude and the indomitable witch would give none of them the satisfaction of allowing herself to be seen like that.

Harry reached out and squeezed one of her hands. He really wanted to hold her and comfort her, but knew that it was unwise at that moment.

Another knock at the door interrupted the scene. Harry gave his love a look that said they'd discuss this later, and called out, "Come in."

The door opened to reveal the bustling (and still busty) form of Healer Susan Bones. "Harry, Hermione," she cried bending down to hug them both, "it's great to see you two again. Although, I wish it was for social reasons."

Harry replied for both of them while Hermione regained control over her fragile emotions, "Hey, Susan, good to see you, too. How's things?"

"Fine, just fine, but let's get the business over with, then we can talk about fun things, alright?" At the twin nods of agreement, the former Hufflepuff went into Healer mode and explained the situation. "First of all, I understand that Hermione's already seen Ron – and for what it's worth, I'm really sorry, Hermione. You didn't deserve that from him." The Gryffindor witch nodded her thanks.

"Now as to Ginny's condition: firstly, the injuries from the fall were relatively minor and have all been treated. We're keeping her in a magical sleep until all of the bones finish healing, which should be sometime tomorrow." She took a deep breath before continuing. ""Next, we don't know where the vaginal damage came from, but can make a logical guess. It seems that she ingested a large quantity of a lust potion." She looked directly at the dark-haired wizard with a steely eye. "Do you have any idea why she would do that if she was home alone?"

Harry knew he was screwed. He looked over at Hermione. At her non-verbal consent, he addressed their old friend, "Susan, can we trust you to keep a secret?"

"Of course, guys," the former Hufflepuff agreed, even though she was concerned as she hadn't seen either of them this serious since the old days of Dumbledore's Army. "Most of this is covered by my Healers' Vows, anyway, and anything else we'll just chalk up to friendship. Okay?"

After sharing another silent conversation, Harry cast several Auror-specific silencing charms on the room before he and Hermione told Susan about everything that had happened since the previous summer, up to and including the attempted potionings.

Not long into their tale, Susan had fallen into a chair, mouth open with shock. Now, at the end, she didn't know what to think at all. But, she did have an inkling about one thing.

"Guys, I don't even know what to say about all of this," she commiserated, "but I'm not surprised at all that you're dealing with it together." Susan laughed at her friends' stunned looks. "Do you know how many people lost money when you both married Weasleys? Almost everybody was figuring that you two would get together. Hell, even I lost fifty galleons. I heard that McGonagall lost two hundred."

The paramours just stared at each other stupidly at Susan's revelation before laughing unrestrainedly with the Healer.

Susan was happily watching them laugh, and even more overjoyed to see their joined hands, but had one more potentially distressing bit of news for the couple. She cleared her throat to get their attention. "There's one more thing I need to tell you and, under the circumstances, it's not the good news it normally would be. You see…"

She was interrupted by the door slamming open and an enraged Molly Weasley storming in, followed meekly by her husband, and slapping Harry across the face. "How dare you," she screeched. "How dare you curse me! I have half a mind to…"

"SHUT UP!" yelled the Healer. "This is a hospital, Mrs Weasley. You WILL behave appropriately or I will call in the Aurors and have you removed. Have I made myself clear?"

"You will not speak…"

"I SAID, have I made myself CLEAR!" Susan glared at the older red-head.

Molly remained silent, but gave the younger witch an evil glare.

"Good." Healer Bones turned back to her friends. "As I was saying, there's one more thing that you need to know." She steeled herself for their reactions. "Ginny's pregnant."

"WHAT!" Harry and Hermione yelled in outrage.

"Oh, Harry," cried Molly as she tried to smother him in a hug. "This is so wonderful!"

Harry none-too-gently shoved her away. "This is not wonderful, it's a bloody disaster!" he moaned to the astonishment of his in-laws. Seeing their looks of hurt and confusion, he elaborated firmly, yet with profound embarrassment, "It's not mine. It can't be. We haven't done, erm, _anything_ in years."

For the first time in her long life, Molly had nothing to say.

The silence grew long and oppressive, until Hermione thought to ask, "Susan, is there a way to determine who the father is? The Muggles can, but it would have to wait until after the birth."

"Of course, Hermione," the Healer replied. "It's a basic Healer's spell. I should have thought of it, myself." She turned to her patient's husband. "May I, Harry?"

At his curt nod, Susan stepped to Ginny's bedside and performed an elaborate series of swishes and flicks. As she made the final motion with her wand, a glow formed above the unconscious woman's abdomen which coalesced into three words.

Ronald Bilius Weasley.

Molly fainted, while Arthur fell back into his seat, gawking at nothing. Harry and Hermione held each other tightly, crying over the betrayal of those who were not only their spouses, but their life-long best friends as well.

Susan joined her former classmates in their embrace, offering her support, but eventually she had something to do that was required by Pureblood Law. Whispering gently, she said to both of them, "Harry, Hermione, I... I have to call the Aurors." They looked at her, startled. "It's the law. I have no choice," she added sadly, her eyes begging their forgiveness.

Another shared look had them both nodding their heads. Susan gave them one last squeeze, before heading off to do her duty.

Susan was usually very happy and proud to be a Healer, but there some days – not very many, but some - that she really, really hated it.

This was one of them.

-O-

_**Six Weeks Later—**_

"This Special Session of the Wizengamot will come to order."

As the members finally quieted down and settled into their seats, the sergeant-at-arms cried out again, "All rise for the Chief Warlock." When the assembly stood in respect, Chief Warlock Tiberius Ogden took his place and said, "Be seated. Let the accused be brought forth." Ron and a visibly pregnant Ginny were led in in shackles to two hard backed seats directly in front of the crowd of Wizengamot members and various other attendees. The chains attached to the uncomfortable chairs rattled loudly as they wrapped themselves tightly around the prisoners.

Harry and Hermione were watching carefully from the visitors' gallery, greatly saddened at not only what was happening, but at their estrangement from the rest of the Weasleys who were sitting as far away from them as possible.

In all fairness, however, it was mostly Molly who was the cause of their disenfranchisement as she blamed Harry and Hermione for the actions of her youngest children. The rest of the family, as usual, fell in line with her demands just to keep the peace. Oddly enough, it was Percy and his wife, Audrey, who had come to them, without his mother's knowledge, of course, to explain the situation and to reassure them that Arthur and the rest of the siblings held them no ill will and wished them the best.

Tiberius stood and addressed the gathering, "This morning we heard the testimony regarding an appalling situation. These two people, who were raised by one of our most respected Pureblood families and whom many of us have known since their childhood, have willingly, and by their own admission, violated one of the most basic tenets of Pureblood Tradition and Law. In addition to this, they violated the sanctity of their marriages. Admittedly, there are no specific laws prohibiting that act, but it is morally reprehensible.

"Also, they have compounded things by causing the creation of another life. Personally, I find them to be fortunate that Lord Potter has declined to press charges for Line Theft as I know that many of us would have." He paused to let his words sink in.

"Now, after hearing the evidence and testimonies, we must come to a decision as to their fate. Honoured Members of the Wizengamot, what say you?"

Lord Neville Longbottom stood proudly and faced the Chief Warlock. "Chief Warlock, we have discussed the matter at some length and find the defendants, Ronald Bilius Weasley and Ginevra Molly Potter, guilty of all charges. I would like to add that this was a difficult decision to make as many of us went to school with Ron and Ginny, as well as their spouses and the rest of the Weasleys. We would like it to be entered into record that we were all sickened and revolted by their actions."

"Let it be so entered. Were there any recommendations for sentencing?"

"Yes, Chief Warlock. They were as follows:

"A minimum stay of five years in Azkaban, commencing immediately for Mr Weasley. Mrs Potter is to be remanded to the Secure Ward at St Mungo's until after the birth of her child, at which time she will join her brother in Azkaban for the rest of her sentence.

"Custody of the baby is to be granted to Arthur and Molly Weasley, at their request. Contact with the child's birth parents will be determined at the time of their release.

"Custody of the other children, namely James, Albus, and Lily Potter and Rose and Hugo Weasley, is to go to their other parents, namely Lord Potter and Hermione Weasley respectively. Any possible visitation is also to be determined at the time of release.

"Finally, and this was the most difficult decision to make, we order the termination of the Marriage Bonds between Lord Potter and his wife and Mrs Weasley and her husband."

Silence blanketed the Wizengamot chambers. A pale-faced Ogden shakily asked, "Why?"

Neville cleared his throat before answering softly, but still loud enough for everybody to hear. "It was apparent from their own testimony that this… relationship… had started long before their marriages to Harry and Hermione. It was felt that it was… unfair to Harry and Hermione… to hold them to the vows that were fairly made to their spouses. As hard as it was to decide, this part actually met with the least opposition. In fact, Filius Flitwick, Charms Master and retired Hogwarts professor, has agreed to attend today to perform the required spells, if necessary."

Tiberius nodded slowly at the younger Lord. "Thank you, Lord Longbottom. Lord Potter and Mrs Weasley, will you please join us?" Harry and Hermione worked their way down to the main floor of the chamber and faced the elderly Chief Warlock.

"Do you accept the Wizengamot's final recommendation? That is the one part that we cannot force upon you as the results could be hazardous to yourselves and your spouses."

No communication was necessary as they replied in unison, "We do."

Slowly nodding his acceptance, the Chief Warlock faced the siblings. "Ronald Weasley and Ginevra Potter, you have heard the words of the Wizengamot. Do you have anything to say?"

Both sat defiantly silent.

"Very well. Ronald Bilius Weasley and Ginevra Molly Potter, you have been found guilty as charged and your sentence will be as follows:

"A stay of five years in Azkaban, commencing immediately for Mr Weasley. Mrs Potter will be remanded to the Secure Ward at St Mungo's until after the birth of her child, at which time she will also be sent to Azkaban for the remainder of her sentence.

"Custody of the baby will be granted to Arthur and Molly Weasley immediately after the birth. Any possible contact with the child will be determined at the time of your release.

"Sole custody of the other children, namely James, Albus, and Lily Potter and Rose and Hugo Weasley will go to Lord Potter and Hermione Weasley respectively. Any possible visitation will also be determined at the time of release.

"Finally, the termination of the Marriage Bonds with Lord Potter and Mrs Weasley will take place immediately.

"You have shamed your family and our society by your actions and I hope you think long and hard about that while you entertain the Dementors. Professor Flitwick, would you please join us?"

Flitwick slowly made his way to the main floor where he greeted his two free former students fondly, ignoring the two bound ones for the moment. After having them hold the hand of their respective spouses, he began a complicated and elaborate series of wand movements and chanted a long string of Latin. With a bright burst of light and cries of pain from the four participants, it was done.

When the pain faded after a few minutes, Harry and Hermione both embraced their old teacher and smiled widely at each other over his head.

They were free. Free of their burdens. Free to love each other.

-O-

As they were walking through the Ministry Atrium, the couple felt a large hand on each of their shoulders. They stopped and turned to see a widely smiling Neville, who greeted them joyfully, "Hey, guys."

"Hello, Neville," Hermione returned the greeting for both of them as she gave him a fond hug. "Thank you for everything."

"Yeah," Harry added, "Thanks, mate."

"No problem. It _was_ the right thing to do, after all. Besides, it didn't hurt that half the Wizengamot's a friend of ours, you know." Nev's eyes turned mischievous as he went on, "Now if you were Malfoy…" The three old friends fell against each other in laughter.

When they had finally calmed down and got to the Apparition Point, the Longbottom Lord remembered something. "Oh, I almost forgot, Hannah is expecting you two at seven for dinner. Now I'm sure that you'd rather celebrate together," a shameless leer formed on his wide, smiling face, "but she doesn't know you as well as I do. Anyway, unless you want your butterbeer to be watered down every time you go to the Leaky Cauldron, we'll see you at seven. Oh, Hermione? Remember, Harry has to be able to walk tonight, so don't wear him out too badly." With a cheeky grin, Neville Apparated away.

Chuckling, Harry took Hermione's hand. "I guess he told us. So, where to? Number Twelve?"

"No, Harry," she replied sadly, "We have one stop to make first." She held him tightly and buried her face in his shoulder. "We have to tell the kids."

"The kids," Harry drew out. "They don't know about any of this. We gotta tell them before they see the paper tomorrow."

"Or worse," she added with a hint of panic in her voice. "Molly gets to them. I wonder why she hasn't said anything to them yet?"

Harry regarded his witch sheepishly. Scratching the back of his head, he muttered, "I, uh, suppose it could have something to do with the Compulsion Charm I put on her at the hospital."

"You did what?"

"Yeah… the whole family, actually. It was just to keep them from talking to anyone other than the family or the Aurors about it until everything was settled." Fearing Hermione's disappointment, he rushed to continue his explanation, "Love, it would have hurt more than just the kids. The rest of the Weasleys would have been affected just as badly as you and I would have been, if not worse." He gave her a miserable look. "I just wanted to protect all of us."

Harry cringed as Hermione raised a hand to his cheek. "Thank you, Harry," she said softly as her hand gently stroked his face. "That was brilliant."

-O-

After a quick Floo call to Headmistress Aurora Sinistra, the couple Apparated to the gates of the grand, old castle that held so much history for them.

As they walked up the long drive to the school's main entrance, they discussed the best way to spring this on their five children, all of whom were unaware of the impending upheaval in their young lives.

"Well, we could start off together," Harry suggested hesitantly, "and split up into whatever groups seem to work best, if necessary."

Hermione squeezed his hand in reassurance. "Nervous?"

"Yeah, I mean… how do we explain this to them? I'm not even sure I understand how this happened." He shook his head in confusion.

Hermione stopped and, taking both of his hands in hers, looked him deeply in his emerald eyes. "Harry, the kids are smart enough to understand. Remember how we had to give them two different talks?"

The retired Auror chuckled at the memory. "Yeah, we had to explain to them how it's _not_ alright to be with your cousin. How the Muggles had proven that it could be unhealthy." He sighed deeply. "I know what you're saying, love; but this is different and you know it. What we told them before was hypothetical; this has really happened and will affect them for the rest of their lives. They are, in effect, losing half of their parents. Then we have to explain why it's different for us to be together."

The bushy-haired barrister's shoulders slumped and she cuddled into Harry's chest. "I know. It's going to be hard, but do we really have a choice? Just think about what Molly would tell them."

They stayed in that position for a few more moments before continuing their journey to the school.

-O-

"Dad! Aunt Hermione!"

"Mum! Uncle Harry!"

Harry and Hermione were all but bowled over by the five children as they mobbed them for hugs and kisses as they entered the antechamber that the Triwizard Champions had been in so many years before.

James, the eldest, stepped back for a moment as his cousins and siblings continued to demand affection from the adults. Feeling like something wasn't quite right, he asked the obvious question, "Dad, where's Mum and Uncle Ron?"

With another deep sigh, Harry flicked his wand around the room, ensuring their privacy, before facing the children. A nod and a smile from his best friend gave him the courage to begin, "Well, kids, it's like this…"

-O-

Harry ran his hand through his unruly hair as he and Hermione collapsed onto a sofa in the sitting room in Grimmauld Place. Piddle popped in and quietly served them some tea and immediately popped back out.

"Aren't you glad that I insisted that we give them the Muggle version of The Talk as well as that nonsense that the Wizarding World calls The Talk?" the witch beside him asked with a small grin.

"Yeah," he replied while taking her into his arms. "They took it better than I thought they would."

"They're smart kids, Harry. Although I thought that Al was going to throw up at one point."

Harry's reply was interrupted by the arrival of a nervous post owl carrying a familiar red envelope. "Oh, joy. I guess we should have expected this."

He removed the steaming red letter as the owl wisely made a hasty retreat.

"HARRY JAMES POTTER! HERMIONE JEAN WEASLEY! HOW DARE YOU PREVENT ME FROM SEEING MY GRANDCHILDREN! IT'S BAD ENOUGH THAT YOUR HORRENDOUS BEHAVIOUR CAUSED THIS MESS…"

"_Incendio._" Harry efficiently ended their former mother-in-law's tirade.

"She doesn't ever learn, does she?" the former Weasley wife commented as she snuggled closer into Harry's arms. "She didn't even get my name right. I mean, I can sort of see her still calling me Weasley out of habit, but you'd think after all these years she'd know my middle name…"

Harry silenced her with a kiss. "Let's just go to bed, love. I don't know about you, but I'd just like to have this day finally end." A mischievous gleam entered his eyes. "Gotta celebrate with my favourite MILF, after all."

Hermione answered with a kiss of her own, before standing and drawing Harry to his feet, red-faced as she remembered the openly lust-filled stares of the fifth-, sixth-, and seventh-year boys (and more than a few girls) as they had walked through the castle earlier that day. As they started up the stairs, a soft knock came at the front door.

With a muttered, "Three guesses…" Harry opened it, surprised to find Arthur Weasley with his hat in his hand and an embarrassed look on his face. "I'm sorry to disturb you, Harry and Hermione. May I speak with you both for just a few minutes?" Noticing their hesitance, the balding redhead reassured them, "Molly's not with me and nobody knows that I'm here."

Taking a step back, Harry allowed the man entrance and guided him to the sitting room as Piddle brought more tea, refreshing Harry's and Hermione's at the same time.

"What can we do for you, Arthur?" the bushy-haired witch asked.

The Weasley patriarch sighed sorrowfully. "I… I just wanted to apologise." He looked up at the younger two seriously. "I'm sorry that all this happened and wanted you to know that I understand that you did what you had to and… and…" The wizard who's already been through so much during his life looked away and began to cry softly. "You know, I've always thought of both of you as my own and was so proud when you both married into the family." A fond smile began to creep across his face, to quickly disappear. "I don't know where we went wrong with them. I-I wish that I could blame the war. Ginny's possession. The cognivores." He paused and looked back up at his former children-in-law sadly. "Or even you two. But, in all honesty, I can't. After hearing them under Veritaserum… I-I can't.

"I can only blame myself."

A shared glance had Hermione engulfing the elder wizard in one of her bone-crushing hugs. "We don't blame you for anything, Arthur. We never have," she reassured him honestly. "You, more than anyone else in the family, have always done your best to make sure that everyone was happy and properly cared for."

"That's right, Arthur," Harry added. "Who do you think I used as an example when dealing with my own kids? I certainly didn't have any experience with what a good father was before meeting you. I mean, I know that Sirius loved me and really meant well, but he was as big a kid as I was. Maybe even worse."

Arthur patted Hermione on the back to indicate that he was under better control and she returned to her seat to see the older wizard with a faint smile. "Thank you Harry. And you, too, Hermione. Like I said, I, for one, hold you no ill will." His smile faded. "I wish I could say as much for the rest of them."

"We know. Fleur and Audrey already spoke to us. They seemed to understand, but their husbands are… well… going to have a difficult time for a bit."

Harry chuckled. "Actually, Audrey said that Percy was going to be on the couch for a while and Fleur was so mad that most of it was in French. It made me wish I spoke French."

"Ah, no," Hermione chuckled, "I don't think you really do want to know what she said, either of you. Bill's going to be… uncomfortable for quite some time. At least until he learns to not automatically kowtow to his mother's wishes. Audrey said the same about Percy, but at least he's spoken to us since this all started."

The younger mages' playful banter cheered the old man up slightly. "Yes, well… Molly's not going to be terribly happy with me, either."

Harry grew more serious. "Arthur, we really didn't want to keep you from the kids. It's just… it's just going to be hard enough for them for a long time and we didn't want them hearing all sorts of crazy things from everyone. It's going to be bad enough when the Prophet comes out tomorrow."

"I take it you've received Molly's Howler, then?"

"Yup. I hit it with an _Incendio_ about five seconds into it."

"Good. I told her not to, but I knew she would send one anyway as soon as I left the house." He got up from his seat and began to head for the door. "I won't take up any of more of your time, then. If you would," he paused as if deciding something, "could you let me know how the kids are doing? I'll understand if you want to stay away… but… I'd really like to know." A sly smile formed across his face. "And maybe let me know how the wedding goes." At their matching looks of amazement, he let out his first true laugh in weeks. "No one was more surprised than I was when you two married Ron and Ginny. I'd always thought it would be you two." With a smirk and a looking a bit more like the kooky Weasley père they knew and loved, Arthur slipped out the door leaving the couple in shock, thinking, "_Where __did__ they _think _the __twins __got __it __from? __Molly? __Pfft._"

A grin crossed both of their faces which blossomed into cleansing laughter as the pair resumed their trek upstairs, hand-in-hand. There would still be hurdles to cross but they knew that with the support of Arthur, at least their family would not be alienated from those that really mattered. And everyone else could be dealt with in time.

They were, after all, The Boy-Who-Lived and The-Smartest-Witch-of-Her-Generation. And, eventually, the Hero always gets the Girl.

Always.

FIN


End file.
